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Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
