"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
