Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
