The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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