carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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