u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
