I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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