Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
