I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
