Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
