When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
