Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Still dying that you shit outside
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
