Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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