im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
