I think scott just propositioned me for sex
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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