Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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