So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
