You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
