we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize