i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
