I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
