I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
sex in a hospital.. check
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
