Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
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