i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
