He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
