So drunk its hurt
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
