I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
