Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize