okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
