your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
