i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
