You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
