Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
