I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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