i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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