Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
