I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
