im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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