Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
operation harelip BJ is a go
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
