Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
