i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
