I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
