He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
