I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
