If i come over, it means nothing
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Pants are for mortals
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