I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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