The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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