Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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