Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
