What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
