Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
