If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
