scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So I just went to clothing optional bar
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
