Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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